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Some people speak so loudly that everyone around can hear them, but they often don’t even notice. This manner of speaking isn’t always tied to a desire to attract attention or dominate—habits, environment, and how we perceive our own voice all play a role.
Cleveland Clinic writes about this.
Volume is part of nonverbal communication, along with pace, tone, and pitch. It can change how people perceive even a normal sentence: a calm message can seem irritated or aggressive simply because of how it is delivered.
Why people speak louder than needed
Many factors influence a person’s usual voice level. They may have grown up in a family where everyone spoke loudly, work in a noisy environment, or simply be used to a certain way of speaking.
Because of this, they don’t always realize that in a quiet room their voice sounds too loud. For example, after talking outside, a person might go into a café and continue speaking with the same loudness.
Loud speech does not necessarily mean aggression either. Some people just have that habit or don’t monitor their voice level in a given situation.
How to ask someone to speak more softly
The phrase “Why are you shouting?” often provokes a defensive reaction, because it sounds accusatory. The person may start justifying themselves instead of noticing the volume.
It’s better to refer to a specific situation. For example: “Could you speak a little quieter? It’s very easy to hear here,” or “Let’s lower our voices a bit because people nearby are working.”
Such a request does not judge a person’s character; it merely explains what is getting in the way.
In a work environment, tie the remark to the circumstances. If there is a meeting nearby or someone is on the phone, it’s easier to explain that the problem is not the person but the level of noise in the room.
What to do if it’s a close person
When someone constantly speaks loudly, it’s better not to raise the issue every time in the moment of irritation. Instead, have a calm private chat and explain in which situations it creates discomfort.
Public phrases like “you’re shouting again” can just offend the person. If you agree in advance on a conditional hand gesture or a brief cue, reminding about the loudness will be easier.
Sometimes the reason isn’t just a habit. If a person suddenly starts talking much louder, repeats questions, or turns up the TV, it may be related to hearing changes. In such a situation, pay attention to a potential health issue rather than the speaking style.
Volume always depends on context. What is normal outside or in a noisy restaurant may be inappropriate in a library or office. Therefore, the best practice is not a general remark about the person but a specific request for a particular situation.
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