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Some people arrive at meetings 20–30 minutes before start and get very nervous if they risk being late even by a few minutes. Psychologists explain that such a habit sometimes stems not only from punctuality but also from anxiety, fear of others’ judgment, or a desire to control the situation.
WP reports on this.
Arriving early for an important meeting is quite natural. Buffer time helps account for traffic jams, transportation delays, and other unforeseen circumstances. However, for some people early arrival becomes an obligatory rule, violations of which cause strong discomfort.
Attitudes toward lateness can be formed in childhood. If family members were strictly scolding or punishing delays, a person could learn that arriving later than agreed is unacceptable. In adulthood, they may continue to follow this rule even when a small delay would not have serious consequences.
In such cases, an additional 20–30 minutes before the meeting may be perceived as a guarantee that the person will not disappoint anyone or make a mistake. Leaving the house earlier helps them temporarily reduce anxiety.
Lisa George, founder of the New York clinic Talk Tribeca Psychiatry, notes that the excessive urge to arrive well in advance sometimes stems from perfectionism, anxiety, and a desire to meet others’ expectations.
It can be especially hard for those who try to anticipate every possible delay. A person premeditates what will happen if transportation is late, if the road is blocked, or if the meeting itself goes off track. To reduce uncertainty, they leave an ever larger buffer.
If the anxiety subsides after arriving early, such behavior may become reinforced. The person begins to associate a sense of safety precisely with a large buffer of time, even when nothing actually threatened them.
At the same time, the habit of arriving early by itself does not necessarily indicate a psychological problem. George suggests paying attention to the reaction of a person when circumstances force them to be slightly late.
If the thought of a five-minute delay causes strong stress, rapid heart rate, or a feeling of losing control, an early arrival may serve as a calming ritual. If, however, a person can calmly accept a small delay, their punctuality is not necessarily linked to anxiety.
An excessive buffer also has practical drawbacks. Because of constant waiting, a person may waste time, refuse spontaneous plans, and become irritated when others treat punctuality with less rigidity.
Mental health therapist Keisha Saunders-Weldron notes that the habit of arriving much earlier can occur in people who strive for high results and fear causing discomfort to others. She says this reaction is especially pronounced if delays in childhood led to punishment or tension in relationships with loved ones.
Even arriving far before a meeting, a person may not feel the anticipated calm. They continue to check the clock and mentally run through negative scenarios, which most often do not come true.
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