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Automatically translated version. May contain inaccuracies compared to the original.
📱 The judicial daily life of Roman Ihnatov: when he forgot to give his “clients” direct contact with the accounting department
The notorious Roman Ihnatov, who was recently subjected to disciplinary action, complained about interference.
https://hcj.gov.ua/sites/default/files/field/resolution/3059-0-6-26_.pdf
✍️He writes that he received a criminal case (admittedly, under the “modest” article for premeditated murder with mercenary motives, cl. 12 part 2 art. 115 of the Criminal Code of Ukraine) — and the party began.
🌞Everything, as always: the collegial day fell apart because an air raid alert scattered the judges to different corners, the hearing is canceled. But the case must move forward! And then the unexpected happens: “for reasons unknown to me my personal mobile phone number somehow became known to the defendant and his acquaintances.”
🧌Indeed, what a mystery! Who would have thought that a servant of Themis’s personal phone would suddenly end up in the pocket of a defendant in a serious crime? It’s not as if it was deliberately leaked to someone.
📲Then the most interesting part begins: some ungrateful citizens from foreign numbers started sending threats, blackmail, and instructions via messenger. Vanishing messages, screenshots at 8:08 in the morning — full service!
💵Well, what did you expect? In the modern Ukrainian judicial system, personal service reaches a new level. When you give your phone number (completely “accidentally,” of course) to handle “special” matters, be prepared that disgruntled “clients” will early in the morning ask: “Where’s the money, where’s the result, and why was the hearing postponed?!”
🔥Moral: next time, Mr. Roman, don’t forget to also give clients the card details or at least a price list for air raid alerts. Because the “clients” have become nervous now! 😉
🤯And now from lyricism — to sheer horror. When you look at this masterpiece of the epistolary genre, only one question arises: how can a person with this level of thinking and command of language even work as an appellate judge, and moreover have chaired the High Qualification Commission of Judges?
The text falls apart into two eloquent parts:
The first block (about conventions, laws, and allocation) — pure bureaucratic plagiarism or blunt copying from standard templates.
🤡The second block (the judge’s original creativity) — and here begins Mr. Ihnatov’s true “art film” — a mix of everyday surzhyk, chronic mistakes, tautologies (“However... However, notwithstanding this...,” “to me ... to me”) and crooked syntax that makes one’s eyes bleed.
When the person heading the HQCJ was unable to string together a few sentences without gross spontaneous mistakes and Russisms, it becomes perfectly clear why the entire Ukrainian judicial system is operating in such a deep “incomplete composition of the collegium.” Who assessed the qualification of these judges if they themselves write like underperforming students on a break?
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