Elections Are Funny

Elections are funny

Facts about single-member-district elections that made "Nashi Groshi" laugh: an anti-narcotics officer versus Dobkin, Yushchenko’s press secretary in Donbas, the pro-Russian communist Amar Husseynovich Al-Anni from Holosiiv…

Dobkin versus the anti-narcotics fighter

District No.178 Kharkiv region, Balakliia city. The most famous surname here is Dmytro Dobkin, brother of the former governor.

There are a lot of archival records about the Dobkins and drugs. And Dmytro Markovych himself recently even became the star of a video clip showing how he behaves in the session hall of the Verkhovna Rada.

So it’s funny that among the many unknown competitors in Dobkin’s district, Volodymyr Hoshovskyi is running — the first deputy head of the State Service for Drug Control.

The Donetsk vodka maker versus his own employee?

District No.176 (Kharkiv region, Chuhuiv city). The most famous surnames are ex-MP and “regional” Pavlo Klymets and MP “regional” Dmytro Shentsev.

One of the biggest vodka producers (TM "Olymp") recently surfaced in a scandalous confrontation between Ukrspyrt and the tax authorities. But in the election context another aspect is interesting.

Klymets is running as an independent. And the "Petro Poroshenko Bloc" nominated a businessman named Leonid Shmandii here. In Sonia Koshkina’s report from the BPP congress there was a short note about him: "Leonid Shmandii. Prime factory."

The funny thing is that one of Klymets’ liquor-vodka plants is actually called "Prime." So we can expect a funny "competition" between the vodka magnate from the Party of Regions and the nominee of the new ruling party.

A "regional" versus Prodan's business partner

District No.52 Donetsk region, Dzerzhynsk city. The most famous surname here is MP Ihor Shkyria.

The concrete businessman with a long-standing mandate from the Party of Regions got an interesting competitor — Oleh Zhebsky, commercial director of PJSC Centrenergo.

It will be funny when Zhebsky starts talking about Shkyria’s "regional" past, and the MP — about the tender successes and business ties of his competitor. For example, Zhebsky’s firm "TD Enerhovuhillia" in 2011–2012 years sold coal to the then-state Donbasenerho for 2,5 billion hryvnias. And Zhebsky at that time was known as the commercial director of Donbasenerho. The fact that he now surfaced at state Centrenergo, with some PR skill, can be explained by Zhebsky’s business ties. For instance, he is known as co-owner of the Vuhlehirsk enrichment plant together with the current Minister of Energy and Coal Industry Yurii Prodan.

Competition between managers of Yura of Yenakiieve

District No.53 Donetsk region, Yenakiieve city. This is territory occupied by DNR terrorists, so elections here will not take place. But for some reason a few candidates registered here. And what candidates they are.

Oleh Nedava, director for foreign economic activity of Karpatybudinvest LLC, versus Ihor Kucherov, deputy general director of PrimeTrans Company LLC.

The thing is both of these firms belong to the group of people around MP from the Party of Regions Yurii Ivanyushchenko and his partner Ivan Avramov (in the photo). About Karpatybudinvest — here and here; about PrimeTrans — here and here.

A few more funny things from the turbulent Donbas districts.

What are Yushchenko’s people doing in Donbas?

In the almost liberated-from-terrorists district No.107 (Luhansk region, Lysychansk city) there are a few well-known surnames — for example MP “regional” Serhii Dunaiev, former Minister of Coal Industry Viktor Topolov (from the presidency of Viktor Yushchenko). However, it’s interesting that as many as 21 candidates from Kyiv are running in this district?

Also interesting: what are the people of former president Viktor Yushchenko doing in occupied-by-terrorists Luhansk region? His media PR specialist Valentyna Rudenko filed an application in district No.110 (Alchevsk), and press secretary Iryna Vannikova — in district No.111 (Sverdlovsk). Don’t they remember how their boss was greeted there?

Father versus son

District No.114 (Luhansk region, Stanytsia Luhanska). In this unclear-yet-who-controls-the-district district we observe a battle of parents and children. Specifically, MP “regional” Valerii Moshenskyi and his son Valerii Moshenskyi, who works as an engineer at the company "BMK Planeta-Bud" created by his father, are running here. Whether it’s a real conflict like between former Odesa mayor Oleksii Kostusev and his son, chairman of the Odesa regional council Oleksii Honcharenko, or a staged game of giving ground — local voters will judge.

Real "vatniks" versus Ukraine

District No.113 (Luhansk region, Svatove city). In the district where the Luhansk Regional State Administration is currently based, a notable vote could take place.

The thing is one of the best-known supporters of separatism, Valerii Holenko, chairman of the Luhansk regional council (photo below), is running here. Opposing him is ex-MP from BYuT Vitalii Kurilo, rector of Taras Shevchenko Luhansk National University.

Voting here could show the "degree of vatnik-ness" in territory free from terrorists. Which is very relevant to the discussion about where to draw the fence line between Ukraine and the terrorist Donbas.

From Western Ukraine there are few funny things, and those are technological.

Soldiers and clones

For example, in district No.68 (Zakarpattia region, Uzhhorod city) against MP “regional” Vasyl Kovach (owner of the local power distribution company) four other Kovachs are running.

And the well-known Svoboda member Iryna Sekh in district No.119 (Lviv region, Brody city) will face unusual competition — of nine opponents every third is a serviceman who fought or is now fighting in the ATO zone. Let’s hope the fighters won’t break the gentleman’s agreement of non-aggression between Svoboda and the Petro Poroshenko Bloc, which didn’t nominate anyone in this district at all.

District No.141 (Odesa region, Tatarbunary city) produced a flood of namesakes. In this district MP “regional” Vitalii Barvynenko is running along with three people who share his surname, and also Serhii Dubovyi, brother of MP from Batkivshchyna Oleksandr Dubovyi, against whom three namesakes were also fielded.

The most clones were produced by the "Internet Party of Ukraine." In districts of Odesa region and Kyiv it nominated more than a dozen people who had the sense to legally change their name and surname to Darth Vader. So we may get a funny sociology — voting for this Star Wars character will show which district has more inadequate voters.

It’s also funny that the main "Darth Vader" is running under the normal full name Holubov Dmytro Ivanovych from the "Petro Poroshenko Bloc" in district No.136 (Odesa region, Suvorovskyi district of Odesa). He was called the "Godfather" of Ukrainian cybercrime, arrested for hacking. And here we have such a candidate.

"Right Sector" versus the SBU

District No.39 Dnipropetrovsk region, center of the district in the urban-type settlement of Vasylkivka.

The most famous surname here is candidate Dmytro Yarosh from "Right Sector." There are no more nationwide stars, but there is the former head of the "K" department of the SBU in Dnipropetrovsk region, Volodymyr Kovtun.

It would be funny if Kovtun, based on SBU materials, starts talking about Yarosh’s ties to the FSB. Because there are already so many rumors that even Privat’s chief PR man Borys Filatov (by the way, himself a candidate for MP) weighed in for the Right Sector leader: "All these talks that he is an FSB agent… Nonsense."

Even more amusing will be if Yarosh starts talking about Kovtun’s past. There is material to hear about.

And finally a funny thing that blows the mind in every sense.

Communist Al-Anni Amar Husseynovich for Russia in Kyiv

District No.211 (Kyiv, Holosiivskyi district). From the Communist Party, which for some reason still hasn’t been banned, the candidate is the head of the ideological department of the city committee of the CPU, Al-Anni Amar Husseynovich (photo on the right).

This character came up with the idea, during a war with Russia, to run with slogans about "close integration with the Russian Federation" and "Abolition of the Association Agreement with the EU." It will even be interesting what "degree of vatnik-ness" Holosiiv shows.

Yurii Nikolov, "Nashi Groshi"